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Whingetiquette - Espresso Melbourne

Whingetiquette

To be or not to be…that is the question. However the question I’m going to address makes more sense if you replace the word “be” with the word “complain”. Us spoilt-for-choice Melburnians love to dine out and due to the obscenely high standards we’ve set for ourselves, we also love to complain. I’ve taken the liberty of categorising ya’ll into boxes, I hope you don’t mind.

There’s the box for the people that live to whinge. They’re the kind of people that would whine in perfect unison that the box I’ve put them in is too square and box-like (the “this granola tastes like sugary muesli, take it back” crowd).

There’s the in between box for those that just go with the flow of whatevs and will only complain if their vegetarian salad is peppered with bits of pork, but other than that…meh.

Finally there are the super-mild-mannered Melburnians that loathe whingeing, especially when spelling it and it just looks so ridiculous on the page. Whingeing? Ew yuck, they say. That’s about all they say. They’d never complain, no matter how valid it may be (“Hmm there appears to be syringe in my porridge, I guess I’ll just quietly push it to the side”).

I will be unveiling my three-step program; to reform the whinge-nuts; to encourage the placid peeps; to be the flow with which those in the middle can go. I call it Help Hospo Help You Helpity Help. Oprah’s Book Club, see you soon.

Stay tuned for Step One.

About author
Liv Fin is a Melbourne-based professional writer with a borderline-dangerous predilection for long blacks, peanut M&Ms and book buying.

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