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Whingetiquette: Go Forth and Whinge - Espresso Melbourne

Whingetiquette: Go Forth and Whinge

Brilliant service can make your day. To be on the receiving end of a friendly smile beamed with genuine enthusiasm can feel like your waiter is giving you a big hug – but with his/her face.

It’s not hard to be a good waiter, or a good customer. Much of the time, the way you interact in that space has everything to do with your personality and nothing else.

I could write a list, as long as the queue for Three Bags Full on a Sunday, for all the things I wish customers wouldn’t do. But that would render my days at work rather boring if everyone were to abide. My Whingetiquette guidelines are intended as reminders of how to be polite, rational and hospitable – things we should all try to be inside and outside our favourite cafés. If you’re going to be a twat, maybe do it in your car with the windows up.

Instead of offering any more suggestions of behavioural modifications, I thought I’d instead highlight some truly great service I’ve received recently that put a spring in my step as I left each establishment (combined with the epic coffee, it was more like a pole-vault out of there).

1)   Dr Jekyll – Wow. Try finding two guys happier to be running a café. They make you feel as though you’ve waltzed into a family get together and I feel I’m on the cusp of receiving a kiss on the cheek… just a few more visits.

2)   The Final Step – Last week when owner, Ben, was telling me about the Nicaraguan Cup of Excellence #4 pouring that day, I could have sworn he was talking about his first-born. His passion is palpable and it’s awesome to be around. Smiley positivity pours from this guy coupled with some of Melbourne’s best coffee from his machine.

3)   Liason – The owner of this hidden CBD gem – Danny – must go home with a seriously sore face, for smiling so much. I’d attest he possesses mankind’s most highly-developed hippocampus, as only a freak of nature could remember all those names in the morning and their accompanying coffees.

I leave you with these pearls of whingey wisdom.

A man without a smiling face must not open a shop – Chinese Proverb

Customer with grumpy face should not go in to shop – Lola Proverb

About author
Liv Fin is a Melbourne-based professional writer with a borderline-dangerous predilection for long blacks, peanut M&Ms and book buying.

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