His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy.
There’s vomit on his sweater already, mom’s spaghetti,
He’s nervous, but on the surface he looks calm and ready to drop bombs…




Everyone surely remembers Eminem’s rap about his struggle to the top – the underground battles with fierce gangster rappers and whatnot? This is old-fashioned fairytale crap now: rappers are out; baristas are in.
Market Lane was the battlefield of Rosettas For Relief last night (30/3) where baristas of the most hardcore calibre threw down their skills to be judged. Monk Bodhi Dharma, Market Lane, Proud Mary, Bike Gallery and 65 Degrees were present to shape up and pour down.
The objective of Rosettas for Relief is to harness Melbourne’s coffee obsession and grind and pour it into monetary aid for relief efforts – this time, Japan.
Out in force were check shirts, clear-lens specs and tight jeans, but most importantly the room was dense with solid coffee nouse, bean-appreciation and of course charitable spirit.
Melbourne coffee kids are pretty awesome at this kind of thing. In January, #coffeerelief consumed Twitter and Melbourne’s leading cafes raised incredible amounts for Queensland flood relief efforts.
The turnout at Market Lane for Rosettas For Relief was similarly impressive. I have a sneaking suspicion that only in this crazy city could you ram a room full of people, each straining and peering over each other’s heads, vying for a glimpse of that magic hand pouring pure silk into a ceramic to create that perfect rosetta for relief.
Oh and Matt Perger (the 2011 Detpak National Barista Champion) rosetta’d the competition into the ground (pun not intended, but I impressed myself with it so it stays…).
Well done to Market Lane, all the battling baristas and supporters. Matt Perger, are you in cahoots with Charlie Sheen? It would seem you can’t stop #winning.








































